At a crossroad....

Today I received some news I had been waiting to hear about for some time.  It comes at a time when I have been knocking on the door and asking God to show me the way I should go.  I do have faith in God, but at times it will sway like the leaves on the trees.  I question him all the time.... Even with all of these faults that I have, I find that he knows this about me already.  He anticipates me to sway and question, he tells me he is not finished with me yet and I should not forget to breathe....  So today I found myself holding my breath a lot....  why do I do this?  As I spent a wonderful walk with my sister we pondered this question as well, we are woman of God, we seek him daily in our lives, why are we not confident and totally trust him.  God is essential in my life, I look for him in the morning, in the afternoon, when my children are sick, when I am struggling with my path, when I feel selfish and jealous, I seek him when I am happy and joyful... so why does my faith sway?  Where am I going with this... As I realized I was holding my breath I took a whiff of my wrist and the aroma of sandalwood filled my mind and I felt grounded and centered my mind was at ease and I let all the tension and anxiety out... then it hit me.  I am a woman of faith, even when I am swaying in the wind, I do not blow away, I am grounded and centered in God....  my news is about a job I have applied for, I knocked, asked and he opened the door.  I am walking through this door confident that he has prepared the path for me.  He is showing me that I may sway but he still holds me in his hands and will provide for me and those I love.  It may not be in my timing but in his.  My heart is filled with joy and thankfulness.  The scent that got me through this day was sandalwood, I am somehow drawn to it... when I am feeling like that leaf and I catch a slight breeze of sandalwood I feel my mind, body and spirit still feeling carefree, but grounded in God, centered on his will and path... I am walking in his word, he is the light at my feet... and the tree that holds me at the steam so I can sway but stay centered and focused on him.